She's smart until she fell inlove

I must confess, when we talk about the L word, or the Love word, I have opinions over the matter, but i never really found a way to defeat the matter.. It's always about the "other" i forget about me. I've spent 27 years with myself now and running. i end up alone in my apartment, cup noodles on new years eve, Christmas with silly cartoon video tapes all about rain deers, thick snow, and Sta. Claus. friends would come over to see me, those friends who are like me, alone on such holidays, who work during the holidays away from their family in this city..

You have a woman, (not necessarily me) who is on top of her game, a smart established woman who fell in love and sold her world to the other. for the hope of what? true love. she has given, she had answered. and i hate to see this picture depicted upon me. why do we have to lose ourselves when we are in love? why does it have to always be about the other? what about me, what about you?

To love is not always about the good, to love is not always about the one who stayed with you during the period of time. if it was the case then you're loving the period of time, not the person. I don't know, because I might be wrong again. I could only think so much about staus-quo, I could only challenge it or leave it as is.

i believe there is nothing wrong with the ugly truth. the ugliest truth about being modest. when you put yourself out there for the other, that signifies bravery, if you go out the battle and get wounded It's alright because you are not to lose. you gain. we learn, I learn. the only time it gets over the top is when one doesn't want to learn. stubbornness. but hey, charge it to experience.

Rule of the thumb? DO NOT FALL IN LOVE. that is what i tell myself, over and over. it works at times, sometimes it don't. being the stubborn one, i doubt it will. but to teach oneself of such discipline and learn such discipline will save you from further aggravation, self sabotage and the deep dark excavation you would not want to see. you peek at one point, and the end of the day, you still choose to walk away because prior, it was a the life you saw at one time.

I don't know... It's hard to fork things like that. Life is full of surprises.

Lost a Malady

I lost one, I have found one, I went back to the beginning of it.
The marking, I want more of your ideas and less of your Infinite.

Looked in, looked out, The placement that would never fit.
Forgetful, that to look is the instinct. but when you leave, take the flesh with it.

Don't look at me now, Look at my intellect, The things i leave behind like footsteps...

The Question.

The Musing.

The Confusion.

The Doubt.

The Betrayal.

Lost one...

I looked at you turn and walk away...
Look at you turn and walk away...

The Replay.

I lost one

A Strong Page

The reflection

suggesting that the Mind is the strongest to blind.
The mind is the action that deserves what is Infinite.

Footsteps...

I lost one.

I won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted, surrender to nothing, or give up what I started and stop.
from end to beginning A new day is coming, and I am finally free.