cacophonesµphones

Day Dreams

2012-01-24T20:40:00.000-08:00

I cover my head with pillows in the middle of the day that could last the whole day to feel what it's like to be somebody I know I can't be. to be taken to a place I know dreams can only take me. In day dreaming I feel the sense of ultimate control and infinite power in contrast to what I am in this world. while others crave for fame, fortune and recongnition. I take it to my dreams, it's easier to achieve it there.

I thought that it will still make sense for those things I know i can't have, or a person i know i can't be in such film and montage of day dreams. rather than force my self in to these things. it's tiring, it's frustrating, it's claused.

Well my reality isn't that bad at all, and i still smile whenever I see random people or even acquaintance who try aimlessly to switch reality to their own day dream. It's entertaining and comic.

My life is not my day dream. half of my problems were solved when I started to live for what is real.

weeking wooking

2011-12-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

because I was so busy, doing things here and there, and because I have been so immersed with traveling, I never really found the time to write. too many things happening, too may Interesting people to meet and too many places to discover and go!

and so, because all these things are happening, I found the need to seriously buy a camera once again. that's the next project after the holiday season and today, I will do gift shopping and I'm creating the master list for my gifts since I'll be spending xmas here in Manila for the very first time!

It was a great year all together! there's such a great blessing that came my way. I bought a flat screen TV with my hard earned money woohooo! today im going to do xmas shopping! how busy! I have the tree up. Steven is back in the states for 1 week, and he'll be coming home with a recipe for pudding. we'll spending xmas together with my fam bam! Mom's arriving on the 18th and Dad's coming on the 24th :) getting my place ready so that everybody's comfie.

Love

J

what the Plank?

2011-08-21T00:11:00.000-07:00

Okay so earlier, on facebook feeds, I have seen another incoherent display of planking.

I N C O H E R E N T D I S P L A Y O F P L A N K I N G.

And it ticks the heck out of me. there are worthy ones, but there are some that are badly done. It's simple. read the definition of planking and follow from there on.

<-------->

Jung's personality test. Seemingly Interesting. my result was INTJ. It's amazing how it revealed my being a closet Introvert ;) a profound explanation was provided through Briggs-Myer personality test, and I fondly told Steven that INTJ's are classified as the Master Minds and The Structure builders and surprisingly INTJ's are one of the rarest of the sixteen personality types, and account for about 1–4% of the population.

"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 17

being an INTJ does not make me special. and I take that in with honesty, modesty and acceptance. we are all one and the same.

<--------->

Oh my dear Inna Santiago. allow me to take this paragraph to say how proud I am of you my dear. please see this link http://www.candymag.com/fashion/style-files/inna-santiago/

Inna, studied at Brent Int'l school, then went to SOFA for her fashion studies. putting those facts aside, This sweetheart has it. congratulations Inna!

another uprising stylist to watch out for is Trish Velarmino. this lady is fierce!
and mind you she got the brains for fashion too and the last time I get to hang out with her was at the Philippine Fashion Week at SMX. cheers Trish!

<-------->

My dearest Steven is leaving for the US on the 13th of September and he will have to stay until the 28th. granted that I will tremendously miss him, I thought of organizing a simple send off party for him inviting his Manila friends. I want to do a Bowling party and afterwards perhaps to proceed at his residence to drink! He's okay with the Idea. So I shall create an event on facebook within the day. we're both excited. and we're hoping to see everybody there!

<-------->

...you're not how much money you've got in the bank. You're not your job. You're not your family, and you're not who you tell yourself.... You're not your name.... You're not your problems.... You're not your age.... You are not your hopes. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 18

"...then who are you? who are we?
we are the person in the absence of nothing.
you are the character you form in the absence of nothing" - Christina Carter

listening to my body

2011-08-01T04:10:00.000-07:00

lately, I could not finish a stick of cigar. couple of puffs then I'm done. It's like, there's an inner pull from my body that tells me "hey I couldn't finish a stick anymore please stop" - I do not ignore that voice with in me. So it's smart to listen to my body what it tells me, because it could be that my lungs are weak already and it's giving me a warning that i should lessen my nico intake really soon.

2011-07-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Alright so I'm thrilled with the Idea of going to Binondo Manila this saturday to find and raid this fabric store called SUPERIOR FABRIC SALES located at 948 Soler Street Binondo 1000 Manila Metro Manila. you see the cute thing about binondo is the community itself, small, you can walk around and just stumble on some good find and good food after a long walk.

I've been to Binondo twice, once with my sister and the 2nd time was by my self when I went to get a lamp for the Apt. w/c by the way up until today hasn't been installed. anyway, yes, so this time I'm going back to do "tela" shopping :-)
I'd probaby bring Zai or Marvin with me, or ask Steve to join if he wants to. I'm not sure if he has the stamina to do these things with me because they say guys hates shopping with ladies.... for one, I remember talking to him about the articles I read about guys and he says well it doesn't apply to him, so we'll see if he could survive shopping, walking, in Binondo with me and my Girlfrand! Oh I forgot he has work. bummer, I'd probably see him after. and a confirmation came through text that Zai has work too, so I guess I'm left with Marvin should my dear be up for it, if not, I'd probably go with my sister or just by myself again haha! anyhoo, not a problem there :-)

After the Tela Hunting, I intend to schedule to meet with my Modista for the pegs.
now this is where my sweet torture begin because I really want to learn how to sew I never learned how to, that's why I envy those who can sew and make fabulous creation out of good quality fabrics.believe me they are more than just talented individual who can out things together like that! I love sewers and modistas, they are the angels of the fashion world bless them for their gift!

Steve is my love, he makes me laugh so hard with out him having to try! like, last night, I wrote the buchikik lyrics down on a piece of paper and made him read it.... haha! really cute! priceless :-)

MIND SET!

2011-07-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

check!

Amazing because MAGIS has been a discipline taught to us by the Jesuits. MAGIS is a phrase means "more" and this phrase has been very popular in the Ateneo culture and the entire community as well. it sought me through the stress and the pressure of having to complete my thesis study and other many form of pressure that comes with it.

Magis according to the Jesuits is the yardstick of Ignatius was always to undertake that which was ‘the better choice’, ‘the more effective enterprise’, ‘the more widely influential’. ‘meeting the greater need’, not simply because such a course was harder, but because it would yield ‘the greater good’ or be more loving. ...

We at the Ateneo was taught seek for the greater glory of things, first through the Kingdom of God (Ad Majorem dei gloriam) and for God to be the light (Lux in Domino) It is one of those school of thought I brought along with me after leaving the comfort zone of my home- The Ateneo.

At this stage, because I decided to Life Hack- by this I mean to alter and break the chain cycle of my routine. to sacrifice sleep, comfort, parties, events, to achieve an end goal. what is the end goal? I want to attain Balance by means of Life hacking, distabilizing my status-quo to achieve excellent and shameless results.
I remember jokingly telling a close friend of mine the yesterday that this experience is my punishment for being reckless and lax for the past few months.

and really.

I aim to be more responsible than what I am now. I aim to practice such principle for a better belief system by working on my issues as an individual, and hopefully be a better person for my loved ones and friends too. I suppose, this will materialize once this life hack starts and I hope to be succesful on this. let's see if I'm able to conquer it. and when I do, WOW it will such an achievement and I'd probably write about it too.

and yes, There would be quite a few tabling to do.
Yes, I'm still the old friend you knew.
but this friend of yours needs a little tweaking :-)

2011-07-18T03:27:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been flirting with the idea of coming back and doing photo J.
I need to commit.

I

COM.....

shoot. why did I even stop.

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I wish I talk like a minion sometimes. you might be wondering what the hell is a minion? A minion are small, yellow, pill-shaped creatures that have one or two eyes, A rambunctious bunch of simple-minded beings. they are characters from the movie despicable me.

They choose to express themselves through actions, not words, their "language" is fairly basic, they speak in strange jabber, they don't really speak. at least, not in words human's can understand.

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blogging is healing. and it shall be this way for now.

bring down the state should we now?

2011-07-18T02:55:00.000-07:00

On 1st May 2000, the London May Day Carnival against Capitalism, a peaceful demonstration against capitalism, turned into a riot that led to the defacing of the Cenotaph and millions of pounds worth of damage to City buildings.

Similar violence has been seen at other large-scale anti-capitalism protests, such as at the World Trade Organisation’s talks in Seattle. In these circumstances, people have come to question the rhetoric and claims of the anarchists. So is anarchism a defensible policy ? Can it be supported both in theory and in practice?

please see this link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/1999/jun/18/1

Anarchism is essentially a fight for human freedom. Modern states, even those which claim to be democracies, stifle their citizens with oppressive and artificial machinery such as laws and taxes. These are imposed by the people who run the state -the elites, the governing classes.

Anarchists believe it is better to live without such controls imposed by such people. This does not mean they stand for complete chaos though. they support co-operation and barter between individuals as profitable. Only without controls can humans truly live naturally and freely.

An opposing mind would say otherwise, you may say that anarchism is marked by exactly this sort of utopian, unrealistic argument. far from freeing humans, anarchy allow them to be dominated by primitive forces that a controlling state has eliminated, such as the use of physical force by the strong to oppress the weak.

As always I disagree with the this argument. Anarchists believe in a classless society. can't you see? modern democracies are divided into classes that continually fight each other. states have created barriers between men that cause hatred and misery. Anarchy removes these barriers, by removing the apparatus that makes economic subjection of others possible.

Anarchism has nothing to do with violent organisations that hijack anarchist events for their own reasons. The vast majority are peaceable protesters who would never use violence. Anarchism is a viable and fair way of life, that allows humans to live and interact naturally, without a Big Brother controlling us.

"HOTSHOT POP QUIZ"

2011-07-18T02:42:00.000-07:00

I remember knowing a guy who loves to use this phrase : "hot shot pop quiz" to liven up a discussion or to make the exchange of text message interesting. It didn't really work, but I got used to it but never really liked it. he doesn't know. and if he came across this blog. dude, this is the most ridiculous deal breaker i have ever heard in my entire life. get a life. seriously.

wow that feels great.

Greg, you need an overhaul

2011-07-18T01:43:00.000-07:00

This is quite interesting. if one that is not taken particularly seriously. Past suggestions to reform the Gregorian calendar have all failed in the face of tradition, convenience and apathy. Three of the most common proposals for reform are as follows:

1.The World Calendar is based on a 52-week, 364-day year, starting on Sunday, January 1st; the 365th day has no day of the week and is called ‘Year-End Day’; and in leap years a Leap-Year Day is inserted between June and July. January, April, July and October all have 31 days, and the rest 30.

2.The International Fixed Calendar divides the year into 13 months of 28 days each, with the 365th day (‘Year Day’) outside the months, and a Leap Day after June 28th in leap years. All months begin on Sundays, and the new, seventh month is known as Sol.

3.The Perpetual Calendar has four 3-month quarters, each beginning on a Monday. Like the previous two, an extra Year-End Day and Leap-Year Day are inserted.

The Gregorian Calendar has 12 months of different length (with no month being 1/12 of the year), uneven half- and quarter-years, and no standard first day of the year or of any month.

This makes financial planning in particular difficult, and public holidays are irregular. Some companies, such as Kodak, use the International Fixed Calendar to pay their employees; others work on the basis of thirteen months and give the last month’s pay as a Christmas bonus.

If and when you have the time, you will notice that the Gregorian Calendar is fixed on the starting date of 1 A.D., which has significance only for Christians as the supposed date of Christ’s birth.

Even the Christians are not united. some of the Eastern Orthodox Churches skipped the first 13days of October 1923. A standard calendar for all religions and countries makes much more sense, fixed on a starting point in history with significance for all people.

The calendar has been successfully reformed in the past. the Gregorian Calendar was only devised in 1582 (by Pope Gregory XIII). There would be a cost in reforming again, but this would be offset in the long-term by the savings due to simplification.

FUCK YOU TOO

2011-07-17T04:59:00.000-07:00

In order to survive this world we're living in, you have to be nice. even if you really don't want to. 9 out of 10, the rest of them is doing thesame. like the moment you turn your back away from them, they'd say fuck you and stick it right up to your nose. and everytime i say something like this people think i had to much to drink or there's something wrong with me. I'm crazy too you see, just like everybody else. It's just that i have the balls to admit it. wouldn't sound right if i say i have the eggs to admit it :)

chair,table, snacks

2011-07-17T01:36:00.000-07:00

1. Should governments prohibit logging? Yes.no.?
2. Is Anarchism a valuable political ideology?
3. Should the sale and consumption of alcohol – the world’s favourite drug – be further restricted, or even banned?

The idea is to create a discussion. I realized that these things shouldn't be posted on facebook. for some reason it doesn't stir nor get that much sensation and expected response i.e are you okay? is there something wrong? did you had too much to drink?

for the love of God. who wants to talk about these things anyway? facebook is definitely not the avenue for it. I believe, these things should be left discussed at the Podium, or, with a collective group who takes pleasure sitting on a chair, in close proximity to a table, with reasonable amount of snacks.

I miss debating. nuff said.

2011-07-13T04:43:00.000-07:00

Standard pick-up lines that seems to wreck your bones can this be a sequel of my dying hope? chasing down a never ending make-believe but you’re a perfect match of consistency...

sextacles

2011-06-29T04:32:00.000-07:00

Great, I woke up really early this morning not wanting to wake up because i came back at the apt late....early....late... yeah.

So I was forced to leave the comfort of my bed to go to Cubao and have my Phone fixed. not that I'm very anal about cellphones. believe me I don't mind. I wouldn't want to replace this old modeled Nokia phone if it didn't stop sending SMS's. I'm quite comfie with it knowing that the keypads are soft, like i could text while walking and by not looking at it.

so some people were busy bugging me to change my phone to a touch screen one, I remember I have an old touch screen phone that I haven't been using because the "touch" feature gave up on me not so long ago like last year. so having been said that, I finally had the energy to have the touch phone rectified.
(this is part of my to do list by the way)

So, The photo day and the ID day is comming up. I could not think of other Major errand I have to do beat after all this limbo. oh 1 more yes. but that should happen around late July. then I have to toggle 3 other different errands for the month of July and This will last hopefully until september. Then come october I could seriously BREATHE.

Yes, So I take things day at a time yes. and along side I enjoy good conversation with friends, old and new acquaintances who eventually land and hit the friendship spot (aw). while having all these Polar bear at my back, the fact that i get to chill with the closest few solidifies the whole eXperience.

ayoko lang.

2011-06-24T07:18:00.000-07:00

hassle free

2011-06-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

how many more bullets do i have to take from you?
how many more bullets do you want me to take for you?

are you calling again? when will you call again? where is it? when will it explode?
what is your name? why are you doing this?

what is your name and why are you doing this?
are you calling again? when will you call again?

what is your name and why are you doing this.

airbourne

2011-06-24T05:16:00.000-07:00

Okay so I got my 2nd recognition at work today for a job well done. and for the price? A goodie bag.

I'm happy and excited for Fete de La Musique (for detailed explanation, please search on google, I really don't wanna end up copying and pasting info, and I'm too lazy to explain, and I assume the reader to be in the know of such event, if not, yes just google it) tomorrow at the fort, I've been an avid fan since 2006 and by that time it was held on the streets of ortigas yo!

This typhoon thing is such a stubborn bugger, according to PAGASA the typhoon is suppose to exit the Philippines tomorrow morning, hopefully it does because I don't want anything to spoil such meaningful event organized by passionate people whom I have encountered in several occasions (YEAH YOU ROCK, and congratulations for being on the paper :) and who have the love for MUZAK. and yes rain or shine brothas and sistas I'll be present! let's get fucked up and druuuunk!!!

It's quite a big deal to finally have an Indie stage on Fete, something that was really missing for the last years. so I'm quite adamant to be part this meaningful launch, so let's see how it all go. I'll be everywhere and as usual I shall arrive after 11.

I'm excited to see friends and old acquaintances again, becuase for some reason I haven't been seeing you guys lately at.... you know where :) may post some reviews I don't know, I'm just too lazy for it. well somebody convinced me the other time to sign up on tumblr. but I don't have the time for it, I don't even have the whole day for myself now. but again, we'll see.

So I'm finally spinning again (hooorraaah) It's about time yes. been out for couple of months but it felt so long. my hands are itching, my heart is yearning, Paris is burning all night long hahahaahah!

My dear, there was such a feeling of joy to finally see your weird face again. I have known you before all of this,before Paris burned etc. and if there is something I have to apologize about, I will. if there's one thing about me that you sure know, is the fact that I stand up for my choices. regardless. and we are clear on that.

our talks about Hamlet, under ground rave parties w.c you claim to be ahem a hipster for christ sake! a hip head dancing to dashberlin! haha the roof top. lousy and lame parties we had to skip because it was just really lame. how you almost pass out because you claimed to be drunk w.c i know you weren't haha

for everything I thank you still. and I'm happy to know we're cool.

CHANSING

2011-06-22T06:20:00.000-07:00

unti unting nalalagas ang mga dahon sa puno.
may kirot sa bawat pag lagas, bawat hulog.
sa bawat dahon na unti unting bumabagsak sa lupa may pangambang kaakibat ay awa...

*to be continued**

BLENDER

2011-06-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

BLUNDER- Make such a mistake; act or speak clumsily, A stupid or careless mistake.

I will be happy to see you there someday.
but now, let me tell you with feelings that I am happy with what we have.

A friend said from 10 I dropped to ZERO for being lame with my thoughts. she can't believe those things will come out from me. I can't believe it either.

I shall not talk about the M word
I shall not ask about the Future word

It sucks right. and I realized how, awkward it is and how hasty it is of me to even pop such questions. weird. I wasn't thinking. maybe I was but it wasn't properly delivered or is there such thing? I don't know. now that I'm getting in touch with my senses, I feel like a clingy, thoughtless, meiopic bitch for even asking him if i was the one, if he sees me in his future. I know there's nothing wrong in asking these questions, but i just find it crazy that I am asking too soon, haha! how insecure right? bad. very bad. :-)

I saw how it freaked the hell out of my boyfriend's guts, not that I'm taking it against him. but really It's a lesson learned. when it's too soon, it's too soon. and if you probably want to freak your boyfriend out, ask him these things and you'd probably win :-) but it's risky. very risky.

Now I could laugh about it, and I don't even know why I felt a lil sad for a valid justification. somebody's not thinking straight lately haha! I'm just happy that I have friends who puts me back to the right place, to snap me out of my blender head. and I'm just probably lucky to have somebody who remains rational, despite this woman, acting like a child sometimes <3...

why do i heart thee so much?

2011-06-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

I was not kidding when I said things like how I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I'm with Him. how I get nervous when I'm around him and how my heart jumps up and down when I know I'll be seeing him after a tiring day at work, or after a buzzie and boozie night with my friends.

When I'm close to him, sea of faceless people pause like still photo's on a sunny day, like when my eyes close and when it opens it's just his face and his smile that I choose to see nothing else, and yes I'm contented.

under his loving spell I'm etched, and must I tell you, I have fallen. at the edge of the cliff I was not so very long ago. and not so very long ago I was like all sorts of butterflies seeking comfort in every thing. like a neophyte in this game people play, like a soldier at the front line of the war. - "I fought the war, but the war won" -Metric

And then one night out of the other 100 mundane nights consistently being seen by the public eye, I met him. and out of the 10 something times I had been forced to drink coffee on a date, I chose tea and he was fine by it, Such a gentleman to even offer to cover. nonchalant I was about such and such, I knew then on that he takes a stand for my Independence, and acknowledges the fact I'm still a woman, and he will not take my boldness against me.

I was never a fan of false pretenses. when my six tells me there's something wrong, there really is something wrong. It's like, I, having to press eject when I hear a waste of facsinating poetry over the songs that gets to be yelled. It's like, I, having to press stop, when the melody just don't add up the kind that gives you and "eeky" and a "yikes" vibe. and lastly, It's like I, having to press skip or forward when there's disconnect and when I just don't really like the music at all.
- " I fought the law, and I won" - Dead Kennedys

With you, it's like, I, having to press "repeat all" or "repeat 1" with no qualms, because yours is the kind of song that speaks how I feel when I am silenced. yours are the words of a song that reveals my inner most thoughts when I'm in fear.

despite everything, I love you.

hitched anxiety

2011-06-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

Those boon times went bust my feet filled with dust, they dried like clay, and the red isn't the red we painted Its more of a rust. and the signature thing? that used to bring a following, oh fuck I have trouble now even remembering.

I knew that to keep in touch would do me deep in dutch because it isn't the rush of remembering Its just mush and the signature thing? Is only growing harrowing
I should have no trouble now to keep from following.

So why did I kiss him so hard late last Friday night and keep on letting him change all my plans? I'm either so sick in the head and mad down in love or I need to be bled dry, to continue because I just really really love him.

every sunny day

2011-06-04T18:57:00.000-07:00

and this beautiful parody that I'm in does not change what my innerbody movement says about you. majestic. majestic. I want to crayon your name on my wall, or maybe borrow a wall at some place and write all that i have to say to you on there, only because I really couldn't afford to buy a wall somewhere, and only because until now I'm chicken shit and all that about you.

Yes No Maybe

2011-05-30T22:49:00.000-07:00

women,ladies,girls, I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies: two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together—like chocolate and peanut butter, spam and seaweed wrap, your ultra favorite combination of Coke Mcfloat, another one could be that of Rootbear and Vanilla Icecream. Lastly Dryers Mochi Balls with Honey :)

how about Peaches with Mustard? Now that's leucotomy!

Fuck you Robots...

2011-05-20T01:57:00.001-07:00

.... I Love Steve :-)

Salonganisa

2011-05-19T01:48:00.000-07:00

Errands... I soooooo want to get them done and just be really over with it.
perhaps by the end of the month.

I'm contemplating on doing a hiatus and detach from the world. I was also thinking to declare my own set of holy week. I'm not really a fan of "popular beliefs" i.e. one should go to the beach on holy week and visit/re-visit a popular destination where most your friends go like Boracay and then you see the same people there- w/c defeats the purpose of vacation, well i speak for myself. I don't know about you.

anyway, Bantayan is a choice. I'm on the look out for the best days to go, Airfares, accomodation it all needs to fall into place. I also have to plot my leave. I'm a fan of back packing yes absolutely, but, I also prefer to have a place to sleep or to crash when i get really tired roaming around the place or snorkling with the fishes. what could be the perfect month. I don't know. I just want to be away. to go away- this time with you.

yeah so,

I'm craving for kebabs over at kebab x.

uhm shit. so my inbox is spammed with invites for the weekend. I'd probably go to a couple.

But tonight....
if I'm lucky.
only if I'm lucky.
I won't push my luck.
but i hope i get lucky (i don't like the way you're thinking asshole)

:-)

Lie to me some more

2011-05-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

ahhh fuck this. what do i do when i see you again. smile. say hi. wave at you. kiss your cheeks.say your name.ignore you.

you see, everything is so easy when you don't matter to me, but you fuckin do right. and your presence affects me in so many different ways i can't explain and I'm not sure how many brain cells i have to use to get this message across to you, I'm not really sure how many brilliant minds I have to go through when all i ever wanted is to not feel as if i'm a stone waiting to be moved by you.

Your Killer eyes... Those eyes... that wicked smile... Fireworks.
You're a beautiful Firework.

your red lips

2011-05-07T18:34:00.000-07:00

There's just so many beautiful creatures in the world and i can't stop looking at them...

You're the only one who caught my eye though...

HOW

2011-05-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

2000.2001.2002.2003.2004.2005.

2005 was the year I have fallen in love with you.
2006 was the year I was in love and madly crazy about you.
2007 was the year I stopped. and the year where it all ended.

2008.2009.2010.2011.

2011 I'm Falling for somebody new
2011 I'm crazy about this person
2011 I'm not sure why you think It's you.

The year is TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN. not TWO THOUSAND AND FIVE.

Mum's O day

2011-04-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

Everything seems to be normal today Monday 25th of April 2011. It's exactly 8:00 Am and later My mother is going to be admitted at the Hospital for her Myoma Operation and to have her ovaries removed.

So Ladies and Gentlemen, today, Allow me to Tell you more about Myoma, what is it about, why it's important for us to know about it. and what is it for you.

So what is Myoma? Myoma, is basically a tumor, "bukol" in Tagalog. doing online research and visiting OB-GYN i learned that Myoma is a benign tumor of smooth muscle in the wall of the uterus. A myoma of the uterus is commonly called a fibroid. and yes they are benign. by benign it means non cancerous.

How do women get them? It's very common. fibroid develop along with age and it shrink during menopause. now the only time it needs get removed is when it becomes really big, like the size of a baseball or a size of an egg. Interesting part is, they grow and get big.

with my Mom's case, her Myoma is called the Subserous Myoma, benign yes and it's situated outside her uterus. however it grew big around 6.5 cm. so we had a debate a long exhausting debate and enormous research plus several visits to different OBGYN to get her very first opinion, her very second opinion, so on and so forth.

At the end of the day we decided as a family to eradicate such tumor in her body since my mom's headed to the menopausal stage.

so, what is it for us? It pays to know the way your body works inside and out. as what my dad said, "prevention is better than cure". It's best most especially for women to have an OBGYN along our side more than our accountants. It's best that we do regular check up like that of TVG's (trans-vaginal ultrasound) and Pap smear just to see how well we are doing down there.

More than frequenting your favorite spot or being a regular at your favorite restaurant, or having a VIP membership at your favorite resort, why not include a regular session with an OBGYN.

The whole procedure of having one's ovaries removed is really expensive. It's no joke. I've seen how this whole procedure stressed the shit out of my mother and I hope the best for everyone.

at 1pm today she will be admitted in the hospital, my mom hasn't eaten anything yet and won't be eating anything until her operation is over, she's just having tea right at the moment and by tomorrow 8am, DR. Mithi Cruz-Romero will take over along with her Partners.

So after the operation what's next? oh yes, we are prepared for that. however I shall write about it next time.
Kind Regards.

Julian Pumpkins

2011-04-24T05:34:00.000-07:00

I'm excited about the new space, this new apartment my sister and I decided to rent. My mother's happy about it, My dad's skeptic about it. but hey, we think and we believe it's about time for us to join forces.

I went home for the holy week, basically to spend time with my parents and old time friends. It's quite an occasion when my dad comes home to see us, because it doesn't really happen all the time. and yes. we got used to the idea.

So being home gives me such a relaxed feeling over matters, I can decide, I can think straight and I can get added value judgment and wisdom from my old folks and yes i can slack all day without having to worry about breakfast, lunch and dinner. In this confusing world, It's nice to know you have roots and you have such an identity to go back to when things overwhelm you.

You see, I love my Long Board, It's an NSP epoxy board

Although I don't get to spend much time with her lately because I was busy with work, I flee out of the country, went back, flew again, went back, and finally settled- hopefully. I haven't played with my board for almost 2 years going three if it not for my will to finally say oh fuck go out there and play. yes, the board is a female counter part of mine, and her name is Julian.

and yes the places i went to for the past 2 years either didn't have a surf spot, or it did but it's not as great as the ones we have here in the Philippines. I remember she used to travel with me a lot, and she gets the attention too for her length and size.

Today, I was so happy to see my board, to see her-Julian, same old board i left in the shack. still my pretty board. I had a great time being one with the ocean again and entrusting my life to her, and Julian didn't let me down.

I was hanging out with the other Surfers earlier, listening to Jason Mraz, Mighty Mighty bosstones, reel big fish, blink 182 under the red hot sun. GSM blue, grilled squid, fish and clams. solve. It felt as if I didn't want to leave the surf camp and head back home.

Home is where I am right now. and I know Julian is in a safe place, back to the shack- her home. when I will see her? I don't know. no promises.

"I never let on that I was down.You blame yourself, for what you can't ignore, You blame yourself for wanting more" - Zero, Smashing Pumpkins

waltz waltz waltz

2011-04-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I Finally was done reading Murakami's Dance Dance Dance. prior to that let me tell you what happened. I went out on a Wednesday Night, Hanged out with friends and got myself into a box of a lousy Hang over. It was Leah's birthday, she had Absinthe as a treat. Then, I had Rum coke to chase the devils tail.

Result? Passed out.woke up early.work at 7am.lack of sleep.floating.multi directional form of body pain.starved.then you realized you're not really starving.coffee.end up almost finsihing up what's in the vendo.then Murakami.

Bizaare.Eccentric.Existential. that is how i will describe my 2 weeks journey with the book. there were Lazy chapters, Aha Chapters, and what the fuck chapters. then again, you can't have much of a good thing.

2 Issues I found Interesting on the Passage:

1. How we tend to Create and nurse our Demons
2. Blunders we commit when it's time to Face them when it haunts us back.

Murakami, on the other hand dealt with issue in a playful yet potboiler manner. like a time bomb waiting to explode.

what could be worst than having a hang over? I don't know. perhaps, waking up at this time of the year, realizing how primitive my ideologies are. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not in sync with the ways of the world today. and I need some tweaking with open arms.

Your Existence in my life has a purpose, what it is I don't know. to tweak me i suppose, make me learn, make me understand the value of matters in its truest essence- I don't know. for now, I'm in felicity to have you around. to be frank, I'm caught in the deepest blue like the color of your eyes...

"Do I love you? Yes I love you.
But easy come, easy go, Don't let me down."- A token of gratitude, The Radio Department

we are made of starts from a star spangled banner

2011-04-05T20:10:00.001-07:00

(circa 2006)

why do i end up malignantly under a parallax close to being archaic on a bridge that's short listed as a coma.

(there's no ulterior meaning to it)

Celsa, after being in a concentration camp in MOA (mall of the asiatic asia)last saturday in as we bid the days humanely smothering on some free beer we got because of the mighty mighty wristbands tynna have, I, Jamie Carter 23 years of age do swear to not drink beer for the succeeding months... darn this is wishful thinking. i'll be 24 sooner than you think. HA!

if wearing red pumps on business days is not considered corporate then why on earth allow other colors like that of blue, green and yellow to work??? is "something corporate" be defined and limited to that of black,gray and white? can't someone be fashionably corporate? (i need a hammer)

on a different note, day by day, the less i strangle to the word "apathy" my head is voluntarily accepting the fact that i feel placid now, that i don't feel scared. that i don't feel sorry for being reckless with my thoughts, for not having to care if i am this way. for not having to worry about what other's have to say about music.genre.books.love.intelligence.brilliance and art. if giving a "fuck" means being almost aware of everything, then i don't need that kind of fuck.

it's easy to say "free cambodia" "free kenya" "free sierra Leonne" it's seemingly alright to exercise your right to free speech, there you have it... a perfect example of free speech. all speech for free but is somebody out there listening to your cries? maybe yes but where's the output? if these nations had to be freed then it should have had been many years ago.

I've always found a sense of enlightenment with the word pro-bono(not U2)it originated from the word pro-bono y publico w/c means for the good of everyone. very idealistic, but boardering on myopic . it's a strong and positive statement, but i haven't fused a way to make it come to life nor seen it happen in reality. if you can refer me to a study or you can tell me how it can be possible, please let me know how and let me see a work or a writing about it, then afterwards let's talk. the drink is on me. if your picky then fine i'll buy you lunch/dinner.

anyway, i then came into a conclusion that all i needed was a prankster to give me that "aha" moment. sometimes, our friends would tell us what we want to hear only to pacify us. and this prankster is also a friend but not the closest one, and even if it was a bit harsh, you earned my respect just by being honest.

And my dear Jenny, yes, i thought i have loved. but i choose to keep that part out of the paper. my admiration and sheer fondness for this person had come to an end. it wasn't love it was just mere fondness and admiration... the sun has left my sky on a rainy day... and i figured perhaps what i need is a sky,,, not a sun or a star or a moon, only but a sky...

and i sound like a trying hard poetic fucktard because of that statement :)

i'll eat popcorn.

dock martens

2011-03-27T00:13:00.000-07:00

no body has to know, even your friends doesn't have to know, even your brother don't have to know. nobody has to know, even your mother and your father no, they don't have to know.
nobody has to know, you don't have to say hello when we see each other, you don't even have to come up and speak to me. we don't have to constantly talk, come by when you can, and i promise i'll be there...
nobody has to know how your eyes crave for me, not even the person sitting right in front of you nor the person sitting beside you doesn't have to know. they may have seen it, but they don't have to know.
she doesn't have to know, how crazy we can be for each other, she may not have the slightest idea, but no, she don't have to know.
You. You don't have to know now, do you?

2011-03-20T19:23:00.000-07:00

Oh peaches, why do i love you so much. and I'm not making sense, My sister told me that whenever I come up with an indecent proposal towards my relationship with peaches it hits like sex on the beaches.

sex on the beaches?

Oh yeah...

Grocery store, I see a Can of peaches, I'll buy a box full of peaches.
I wish I had a Tree of Peaches, or a backyard full of Peaches. or or... a swimming pool filled with peaches, and I'd swim with them peaches and drown myself with its syrup- a very good substitute for chlorine.

I'd be yellin' peaches everyday, I don't mind, unless you do.
But if it's causing no harm then it shouldn't bother you.

"Movin to the Country gonna eat me a lot of peaches"

Peaches- The Presidents of the United States of America
(where the bleep are they?)

8986354

2011-02-27T04:39:00.000-08:00

That i have really moved on and It was ___________ to see you.

Yes, It felt Blank. and the Blankness equates to Nothing.

You're nothing to me now.
You're no one to me now.
Nothing.

=)

2011-02-21T04:44:00.000-08:00

I wish for God to give me somebody like you....
if not, well at least somebody more like you.

and if that day happens... I'd still eat peaches :-)
but i'll share them with you.

What do they have to say about the Apple?

2010-12-25T04:16:00.000-08:00

all together now. An Apple a day keeps the Doctor away.

unfair.

how about a Peaches a Day keeps the Doctor away?

sounds nice right. yeah right.

Pink Pillows and Pink Brooms

2010-12-04T01:15:00.000-08:00

I use to have a huge crush on Jet Nidea, A BS Biology student who was a former classmate in a Bio class I attended during College. the class is every afternoon,TTH after lunch at 1:30 to be precise and ends at 3:30. Jet was the type who could not break a single plate and yes He's the Good looking nerd/introvert/i want to be your girlfriend/ i want to date you type of Guy i stalk every single chance i get. (since i was busy with the student council in college apart from the debate team and the student paper, "single chance" and the "stalking" part happened rarely.

I was never seated beside Jed in class, N-E-V-E-R. because our seat assignments were alphabetically arranged, so my last name starts with the letter C and his is N so you pretty much get the picture, yes, I was the front row "junkie" and he was the "backstreet boy" and you just don't know how conscious I was knowing that my crush, Jet Nidea is seating few rows behind me. sad part was, i couldn't look back nor take a quick stealing glance at his general direction for the reason that it will just be so obvious that i dig the guy. not only that, I get jelly legs around him too, I couldn't even fuse an effective opening to start a small talk with him for that matter.

So the only hope that lit the room was the groupings, I remember calling all the gods and doing pseudo novenas just for us to be group mates and eventually I will have every reason, a valid reason for me to talk to him. I will cut the chase and say yes, we became group mates.

But I'm not sure I dated him though, I am not certain if we went out because I remember after the groupings we became really close, we stayed late at the laboratory dissecting frogs and experimenting on birds- I'm not sure if that's considered a date. aside from that we flirted with each other a lot.

and I'm not quite sure where he is right now, I searched for him on facebook and all i ever gotten was a Brad Pitt photoed Jet Nidea. I looked at his wall but there's not much going on so I therefore conclude that He's not active on Social networking sites such as facebook. i remember seeing him on friendster but I deleted my friendster long time back.

You see, If ever i have his Mailing address I will for sure write him a letter, I will for sure send him a post card or Comics or his favorite book. and now that the world and the system made it so easy to track people down, when I needed it the most it failed me.

How convenient.(sarcasm)

She's smart until she fell inlove

2010-11-26T05:08:00.000-08:00

I must confess, when we talk about the L word, or the Love word, I have opinions over the matter, but i never really found a way to defeat the matter.. It's always about the "other" i forget about me. I've spent 27 years with myself now and running. i end up alone in my apartment, cup noodles on new years eve, Christmas with silly cartoon video tapes all about rain deers, thick snow, and Sta. Claus. friends would come over to see me, those friends who are like me, alone on such holidays, who work during the holidays away from their family in this city..

You have a woman, (not necessarily me) who is on top of her game, a smart established woman who fell in love and sold her world to the other. for the hope of what? true love. she has given, she had answered. and i hate to see this picture depicted upon me. why do we have to lose ourselves when we are in love? why does it have to always be about the other? what about me, what about you?

To love is not always about the good, to love is not always about the one who stayed with you during the period of time. if it was the case then you're loving the period of time, not the person. I don't know, because I might be wrong again. I could only think so much about staus-quo, I could only challenge it or leave it as is.

i believe there is nothing wrong with the ugly truth. the ugliest truth about being modest. when you put yourself out there for the other, that signifies bravery, if you go out the battle and get wounded It's alright because you are not to lose. you gain. we learn, I learn. the only time it gets over the top is when one doesn't want to learn. stubbornness. but hey, charge it to experience.

Rule of the thumb? DO NOT FALL IN LOVE. that is what i tell myself, over and over. it works at times, sometimes it don't. being the stubborn one, i doubt it will. but to teach oneself of such discipline and learn such discipline will save you from further aggravation, self sabotage and the deep dark excavation you would not want to see. you peek at one point, and the end of the day, you still choose to walk away because prior, it was a the life you saw at one time.

I don't know... It's hard to fork things like that. Life is full of surprises.

Lost a Malady

2010-11-25T03:05:00.000-08:00

I lost one, I have found one, I went back to the beginning of it.
The marking, I want more of your ideas and less of your Infinite.

Looked in, looked out, The placement that would never fit.
Forgetful, that to look is the instinct. but when you leave, take the flesh with it.

Don't look at me now, Look at my intellect, The things i leave behind like footsteps...

The Question.

The Musing.

The Confusion.

The Doubt.

The Betrayal.

Lost one...

I looked at you turn and walk away...
Look at you turn and walk away...

The Replay.

I lost one

A Strong Page

The reflection

suggesting that the Mind is the strongest to blind.
The mind is the action that deserves what is Infinite.

Footsteps...

I lost one.

2010-11-08T02:09:00.000-08:00

I won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted, surrender to nothing, or give up what I started and stop.
from end to beginning A new day is coming, and I am finally free.

Therapeutic Foot cream for the sole

2008-12-26T12:28:00.000-08:00

Yes, I’m aware… I’m hitched to the philosophy of shrewdness.

There is no valid acceptance for contradictions, only powerful and manipulative justifications.

Having the ability for subjective interpretation, recklessness could send a dissimilar gauge to a juvenile mind. The gravest peccadillo is to corrupt and mislead the innocent.

Wickedness/Malevolence. There is nothing sexy or cool about it. Woman, if and when you bear a child, savor motherhood, savor maturity, savor the changes it may bring to your physique. Womanhood is never to outshine other woman, never to outshine and or be in an insalubrious competition with man. Independence is inevitable, competition is able, and respect is worthwhile.

Respect your husband, respect your children, and value yourself. Do not do anything that would incriminate your womanhood and your family. Appreciate the intricacies and the joy of life, share it with your friends, and share it with your children talk to your husband about it. Teach your children the importance of virtue, but what a better way to learn it is to be of a high merit and a good example to them, so that when they grow up they would always have something to recall.

When things go out of hand, remember it’s never too late to start. Some may be ahead of you, some may have more than you do, go ahead and take on a different standpoint. Not to envy, not to get jealous, not to hate, not to be self-doubting, not to accuse or impugn your failures and misfortunes on to others. Life was never fair. Accept it and create a movement.

Yes, I’m aware… I’m hitched to the philosophy of choice and the beauty of priority. Narrow your priority, whatever it may be afterwards choose. But never whine about the outcome, remember it was you who narrowed your priorities and it was you who made the choice. You were given abundant options and along the way there are bonuses and dearth. But it will all boil down to one thing…

If you are a rotten fruit, have the decency to stay away from the good kind. Institutions, titles, self proclaiming labels can indeed make a very good and sound impression it could also conceal who you really are, but to have a lasting impression is another question. It will only take one brave soul and wisdom to know the genuine being from a charlatan or an impostor.

I’m not preaching nor asking for your patronage, I’m not here to help or to impose. This is an observation, from the corner of my rocking chair, at the corner most forgotten by a passerby.

sa bulwagang hemisphere

2008-10-18T03:00:00.000-07:00

asong buto't balat, isang makipot na kalye patungo sa dakong paroon, sinag na sinag ang bakas ng pluma na pinaglumaan at pinag pasapasahan pa sa panahong diktador.

katorseng tao sa jeep, kasabay na umalis ngunit ang katorseng iyon ay tila ba parang dahon na nalagas at tinangay na ng hangin sa direksyong di mawari ng isip, isip na pilit nag iisip.
ito ang jeep, ang jeep na umandar at bumyahe ng punuan ngunit sa bandang huli handa kang iwan at talikuran kung saka sakali mang kailangang bumaba at tahakin ang pansariling lansangan.

sa jeep magisang naiwan kasama ng driver at ng kunduktor na nakasabit pa sa reha ng bubungan mga mata'y may bahid ng katangunan at kung makatitig ay para bang wala ng bukas, bukas para mag hayag, bukas para lumantad pinipigilan ngunit ayaw mag pa pigil.

ako ay bumaba at pumara sa lumang bahay sa kanto ng kalyeng hemisphere, pumasok sa lumang bahay na walang sino mang nag mamay ari, walang ibang laman ang bahay kundi ang isang larawan tila ba napag iwanan na ng panahon, sa apat na sulok ng bahay may nagagalit, may nalulungkot, may nag aalinlangan may umiiyak at may umaalpas...

ako ang larawan na naroon sa bahay.
at ikaw.
ikaw ang buong bahay.
sila ang pasahero sa jeep...

Artsy PLant -Mayapis POWer PLANT

2008-10-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

It all happened in the summer of ‘04 when I made my maiden voyage to the plant. At first it was canny and Catatonic. I heard rumors that the plant was capable of instigating massive merrymaking and revel. Massive in a way that it will leave you hanker for more till the crack of dawn.

I have to experience to prove… I sign posted my head and thought, “will this snooping demur leave its place and get baffled like a wild artsy plant?” to hone it I have. The plant is set up to have a “put-your-feet-up” vibe. Because of the relaxed atmosphere, being au naturelle is the best nook. To look natural, to feel natural and to be natural, all is natural in the plant. Organic I suppose a very organic plant … (Laughs).

Another revelation Is how they had this entire wall covered with photos from the times of yore and today. And the assorted collection of drink and snifter given by friends and or their beloved guest who visited the plant one partying night or one placid day, the main contention I believe is the memory of each item and their experience with the sow is what matters the most and that is why it is there.

I would like to then place myself as a neophyte, the personality that made the plant artsy are all knacks and worthy for their own good, multi-talented, outrageous and out of this world. Often times I labeled them as the “Jaucian Brotha’s”- very solid, substantial, influential and inspirational individuals. From reggae, to house, to alternative, old skool hip-hop and electronica, to jungle and Indie, take a pick of what will soothe your mood at the moment. That is how versatile the people are. But what I truly loved about it is… it’s the home of the best thump. It’s like being in a library of good find music from different local and global artist, always updated must I say.

Moreover, I wouldn’t question the existence of their band Pack of Wolvz. There’s so much about the name that their friends had became a part of. It all happened one rainy and stormy day, flooding, distorted, disrupted, everything was in havoc. And the boys decided to put a rhyme on a pit, enjoyed, did it again, enjoyed, did one more and enjoyed, until such time, conceptualizing for an album had not just been a suggestion nor an option but a dream that will soon come true.

I’ve seen them before, I’ve seen them now, and at the conclusion of the sun, the Mayapis Power Plant will forever remain inculcated in the bottom of my hypothalamus, you won’t understand why, you will never, until you get to experience being there, not just being there but also staying. This limerick is for them and I salute you for all of the hard work, for keeping yourselves PLANTed…. on the ground and for a solidarity that is ever so unique. The plant would never be artsy if it weren’t for you all. KUDOS! And you are the entire look that makes me love high!

credits:
Jum Cadorniga (for the kick ass Photos taken at Mayapis)
Glenn Jaucian (for the kick ass photos taken at Mayapis)
Milton Ching (for Jun Jaucian's Kick ass Photos

ang kabutihang naidudulot ng CHONGKEYS

2008-10-17T00:24:00.000-07:00

"bakit ang mga madre sister ang tawag? bakit ang mga pari father ang tawag? bakit ang mga ibang titser ma'am sir ang tawag?" "bakit yung ibang mga pulis buwaya ang tawag? bakit ang mga artista plastikan ng plastikan sa amigo at amiga? bakit ang ating gobyerno kurakot ng kurakot sa pera ng ating bayan"
To quote Benjie Estanislao, together with his band The Chongkeys. My respect will go a long way for this person, he deviates from the norm and at thesame time does not jeopardize the whole essence of musicality.

I came across The Chongkeys at (the now defunct and will surely be missed) Purple Haze during OI ATTACK that was organized by Merck Alvarez (drummer, Varackos). Must I say, of all the prodigy/virtuoso bands that played that night, The Chongkeys were the ones that stemmed and left a carbon paper like Impact with in me.

Their songs speaks of status quo, and yet the art of how they brought it together was staggering. consequential it is, far-reaching it is, playful it is and very honest.
their song Tingnan mo has been a favorite because it seemingly is derived from a socialist point of observation, how society reacts and perceives freedom of expression. how the standard of one society influences the mind frame of an individual. it will make you question and challenge status-quo, it will open your mind and bring you in restrospect to reflect,ask,think.and do the right thing. I have all but respect with this people. for me, they depict good-vibes.

"bakit ikaw, kayo.. tingnan nyo muna sarili nyo, bakit ikaw, sila tingan na muna sarili nila" "anong nakikita mo? anong nakikita mo? totoo ka ba? totoo ka ba?"

They are like brothers reminding us to respect the essence of Individualism and Freedom; that one does good not because he is forced to do so, but because he freely conceives it, wants it, and loves it, that one has the right to life without having other people dictate when to and how to. lastly to do away if not avoid double standards/hypocrisy.

"wag nyo husgahan, wag nyo pintasan, sarili mo'y tignan, maging totoo sa sarili sa sinasabi, hindi lang "labas" ang, totoong kaanyuan, Respeto bigay KO, Respeto bigay MO!"

In our society, I am pleased to know The Chongkeys towered and outstripped the big fork out of the middle-of-the-road .

For me they are such a brainchild of be-dazzling music, aside from that, they don't just play to play, they also teach us a whole lot of lesson to get by in a light manner and heavy weight knock out punch approach. If The Chongkeys is indeed as good as this...then... I'm pro chongkeys. tara, simulan na nating mag Chongkeys.

Credits:

Benjie Estanislao- Chongkeys
(for the hard knock The Chongkeys image and editing)
Red Rivera
(for the kick ass photos, 4th arts music fest)
DJ Tong
(for the kick ass photos of Mark and Pepito)

Kinsangani

2008-10-15T00:36:00.000-07:00

i have so much tears to weep for you, i left the hope to submerge in the clouds, but i know soon the river would spare me the wallow, enough not to upset the apple-cart.

our history spoke and embossed a culprit between our settlers today and will mark another to those that will be born tomorrow, and I, I have been silently revolting, penetrating my entire being like a sore thumb in this nation where I temporarily occupy, a territory that is partly mine.

I look forward to the day that i would finally see you face to face, and to finally embrace my "min broers" and "min susters" who will become more than just a contribution to life and be treated like those that breathe an overwhelming life.

not most would understand why, but to care for the "most" had never been an option nor will be a choice, for once, the "most" are acquiesced, and mostly, they have been the reason why we constantly chase Zaire.

to be divided by great waters and mountains, the quest that bridge the essence of my youth with your existence is the hope that i have carried and will always carry, the hope and the strong will to be united with nature and our people.

"droog julle oog" hush now my broers and susters, it is not you, it is not you i know, the sparrow that flies into the dining hall at night, where nothing and no one is safe. it 's not you i know.

mirror boomerang

2008-10-15T00:35:00.001-07:00

"do you know what a hard cider taste like?"

"yes, i do know what a hard cider taste like"

"so what does a hard cider taste like?"

"here have some, and tell me what you think a hard cider taste like"

"sweet?"

"yes"

"good?"

"no"

"sour?"

"yes"

"better?"

"no"

"it is for me"

"it's not for me"

fine.